Wednesday, September 16, 2009

back to nature

copyright Grace Albaugh - our new lake house view from the patio

I'm having a melancholy morning. Now and then I wake up and for no apparent reason I just feel melancholy. Nothing has happened. There is nothing bad or negative around me. I'm not anticipating anything going wrong. I'm just melancholy. I find this interesting. Wondering what it is that creates this in me. I go into my armchair psychologist mode and try to analyse myself. Then I realize it's useless and just go with the melancholy. Let it take me where ever it wants to go.
When I had a melancholy day as a girl I headed for the woods that surrounded our house. I headed down the hill through the trees and wandered along the lake shore of Lake Rebbecca. It is a quiet lake with only nature surrounding it. No houses in sight and rarely any people.
I spent many hours down there after my father died. I felt close to him there. He was a naturalist at heart and spent much of his own time in the woods all over Minnesota. It was a place where I could converse with him and no one would hear me. I talked to the birds and squirls and rabbits too. Every once in awhile I'd catch a glimpse of a deer or see a fish jump in the water. I could loose myself for hours in the beauty and human silence. I had the freedom to roam as much as I wanted to and it was a huge part of what formed me as a human being.
We are moving in two weeks to a house on a small lake. I'll be able to sit on the back deck in the mornings and listen to earth waken and the water fowl start their day. I'm grateful for this gift. It's been many years since I've had a slice of nature at my back door. Its in my blood and I've felt nature anemic for a long time.
I'm thankful to my Heavenly Father for this blessing and I know it will feed and fill my soul.


Kim said...

We all feel melancholy from time to time. As your former neighbor,I took refuge in the same woods that you did as a child. Surprising we never bumped into each other! :-)
The view from your new home is lovely. You probably just need a little time to get adjusted and caught up on your rest. Take care!

Kathleen said...

But of course you turned to nature to fill that God-shaped hole. Because you are wise and lovely. I'm so happy for you that you'll soon be on a lake. How hard it must have been to lose your beloved farther so early. But I guessing that such intimacy with sorrow is what makes you joyful in equal if not greater measure.

When I was a little girl and felt melancholy, my sweet mum would say: "Are you feeling little today?" And that was exactly how I was feeling.

Nothing wrong with little.

Madame DeFarge said...

It's a lovely view and would be able to lift any spirits. Hope the melancholy lifts - I think we sometimes need it.